Failing to Equip

I am blessed to have three wonderfully amazing sons.  My boys!  I truly don’t know what I did to deserve such great kids.  They are a living example of God’s grace and favor over me.  However, I have done all that is necessary to screw them up.

This morning my husband and I were discussing our first born.  He will be 16 in a mere 28 sleeps.  And unfortunately, we have done a poor job preparing him for the future and for his real life.
We are by no means a wealthy family, but we have always made sure our kids have everything they need, and most everything they want.  And now I look up into the eyes of this young man and know that he has no work ethic, no follow through, and no money or time management skills because of the decisions his dad and I have made.  We have failed to equip him to be an adult.

I can promise  you we absolutely never intended for this to happen.  We thought we were providing for him.  We loved giving him all that we could.  And he is a grateful child.  He never expects from us, which makes it all the more easy to just give to him.

Let me tell you about him.  He is loves and is very protective of his family.  He loves the Lord.  He plays with his seven year old brother with out being asked.  He never gets in trouble at school (unless he doesn’t do his Algebra homework).  He is polite.  He is helpful.  He has dyslexia, ADD, anxiety, and Juvenile Arthritis and still has an A-B average in school and is on swim team.  He is at church every Sunday leading Kindergarten and 1st graders in worship and teaching their small groups.  And he wants to be a youth pastor when he grows up.

We want to see all his dreams come true!  And there in lies the challenge.  How do we help him develop the character traits and skills it takes to succeed in the less than three years we have left with him under our roof?

You see, in addition to all those wonderful things about him are things that will hold him back.  He likes to come home after school and put his feet up and watch videos and play games till dinner.  Then he will return to the videos and games until its time to shower and go to bed.  He will help around the house, but has to be asked to.  And when the task takes longer than five minutes he has an excuse and disappears.  He does well in school, but is ok with just scooting by and doing things at the last minute.

But what is going to happen when we aren’t there?  Will his room ever get cleaned if no one is there to ask him to clean it?  Will the dish washer ever get unloaded or reloaded?  Will his laundry ever get done?  Will he do his homework if no one is there to ask if he has done it?  Will he go to work when he is “so tired” or will he call in sick?  And money… we just have to leave that subject for another post.

We know things have to change, for the future that he deserves to happen.  But how do you instill the desire to “push” yourself in someone?  My second son has it.  He was raised in the same house by the same parents and is so very different.

So, now that we are willing to admit we have created a problem, what are we going to do to fix it you ask?  Well, we are addressing each of our concerns and giving him assignments to help him work on changing those habits that need to be fixed.

To help with work ethic and follow through, we have given him assignments that he will work all the way thorough, that in the end he will have new skills that he can take to the workplace.  To help time management and scheduling, we have put due dates on when we want to see progress in these new skills. We are working with him on several different assignments regarding money management.  That’s a biggie that I still haven’t fully mastered!

The follow through on our end is going to be a big part of his success.  We have to help him see the next few years of school, mastering these new skills and maintaining is involvement in activities as his job.  And we have to do our job in managing him.

This parenting thing isn’t easy.  And even if you are raising good people, there are still a lot of characteristics that they need to be productive, good  people.

Conversations With Mom - Save your stuff

As I have mentioned before, I have 3 boy children.  I realize that being a mom to boys has shaped my life and who I am in many ways.  I know that if I had given birth to even one girl, I would be a different person in some ways.

One of my favorite things is taking my boys to school.  My husband and I switch taking them according to our schedules, but I LOVE my days to take them because of the conversations we have.  I don't know if it is because we have a captive audience, or because we are all just a bit more candid at 8am.  You can ask any of them, I have no filter at any time of the day, so maybe they are more candid?  Whatever the reason, our morning conversations are some of the most true - authentic - conversations of the day.

This morning, I happened to say to my 9th grader, "I got an email that y'all are having a sex and health talk in a few days."  He said, "oh, yeah, I got that email too."  About that time, my 10th grader chimed in and said, "We just had an STD talk that came with pictures."  As you can imagine, this opened a door that I had to walk through!

-Now I understand that we all have our different opinions on what and when or if this stuff should be taught in school.  We are all entitled to our opinions.  You don't have to agree with mine and I don't have to agree with yours, but we can respect each other enough to have our own. - 


I asked if any of the pictures were of mouths and how nasty that can be. My 10th grader say "Yes! It was so nasty! It was disturbing!" To which I responded, "you can not be too careful about where you put your stuff! You boys need to keep your stuff clean and unused, and look for clean, saved stuff when you look for a woman to spend your life with. You can't expect to be given new stuff if your stuff is rotten." They both agreed that they don't want rotten stuff.  And, if their stuff is dirty, it's not right think it's ok to dirty up someone elses stuff. And the only way to absolutely keep their stuff clean is to SAVE THEIR STUFF!

We always seem to end up laughing at the end of conversations  that have serious content.  It is really important for them to understand that it is serious, but that they are loved and they know what our family values are on the subject.  We usually title the conversation, like "Conversations with Mom - Save your stuff"   When I let them out of the car, I released them with the main idea of the day being "Save your stuff for stuff that has been saved."

Don't judge. The terminology was way wrong, but they got the point, and the point is what matters.

The root of it

This is how it started. For Christmas of 2009, Mark got the boys dirt bikes.  I had been every kind of mom out there ...Baseball ...Football... Basketball... Karate... Golf... Swim... Archery... and probably a couple more that I can't even remember at the moment.  Dang how I love those kids!!!  I would do anything for them.  And now I had become Dirt Bike Mom. 

It wasn't long before I started doing things I had never done before.  And it was FUN!  I have always enjoyed being in the minority.  And to be honest, I would say being a mom on duty at the track was still in the minority.  But I was learning how to do it all.  Mark worked so much that it seemed that the kids would never ride if they had to wait on him.  Before I knew it me and my 9 and 10 year old, with the 2 year old in tow, were loading bikes in the trailer and heading out.

 I remember at one point, the younger one could never remember how to start his bike, so under his contact in my phone I had a notes section that told us step-by-step what to do to start that thing.  And I have done it in flip flops.  I have done it in shoes that slipped off, and with so much force that I fractured my shin. 

When I started pulling the trailer I was awful!  I was backing up and so bad that the trail kind of jack knifed and the edge of it cut a whole in my bumper.  But, I got good at it.  Now, I could rival any man backing that thing up. 

I remember one time I had the older two on the track and the little guy was in the truck with the window mostly down.  I was helping one of the older boys and heard this horrible cry from the younger one.  I turned around and he was on the ground.  He had fallen out of the window on to the ground.  I have no idea how he landed.  Could have been on his head for all I know.  He cried and I held him and then the was fine.  Thank God!

It wasn't long till I went shopping for a shirt, hat, hoodie, ANYTHING that said "Dirt Bike Mom" and  there wasn't anything to be had.  I was really kind of sad.  I am a cheerleader by nature.  I had to have something to cheer on my boys and let the world know how proud I am of them.  Yet I couldn't find squat.

During the holiday season of 2010 I bought a tee shirt that said "I'm just like you, only prettier" just like the Miranda Lambert song.  Jokingly I told my sister, on dirt bike day's it was more like "dirtier."  And with that the tee shirt idea was born. 

The more I thought about my desire for some Dirt Bike Mom gear, the more I knew there were other mom's who felt the same way.  But I was a busy mom.  At that time I had been through that remains to be the worst year of my entire life.  Just so many horrible things were going, and had gone on.  I put the idea on the shelf for a while and just tried to do life for the time being.

Then, when I got back on my feet, when I felt a bit of stability returning to life I started toying with just making some tees.  It was a slow process, but I wasn't in a hurry.  I didn't then, and still don't, view this as a job, or even an income stream.  That's why our prices are so low.  It's not about making money.  It's to provide mom's a way to say to the world "I'm a proud dirt bike mom!"  When I put on my tee or hoodie, my boys beam with excitement.  They know I am proud of them, cause I am proclaiming to all of my world to see that my kids ride dirt bikes. 

What direction

Today, my baby turned 5.  I am 42 and he is 5.  No, he was not planned.  He was a surprise.  A huge blessing, but a Major Surprise.  In fact, that is his name... Major Surprise.  Ok, not really.  His first name is Major.  Anyway, I have always felt like he was my last shot at getting it right.  That's not to say that my other two boys aren't fabulous.  The are wonderful works of God's love and grace.  I could not ask for two better young men to have the pleasure of raising and calling my sons.  But I am a different mom with Major than I was with the other two.

So, that got me to thinking, what direction will he go?  What sports will he prefer?  What subjects will he like or not like?  Will he prefer blondes or brunettes?  You know, all that stuff.  And it comes down to what direction am I going to lead him in?  With the other two I wanted a baseball player.  I love to watch the kids play baseball.  And what did I end up with?  I have a swimmer and a football playing motocrosser.  But I let them try EVERYTHING!  Baseball, Basketball, Flag Football, Swim Team, Karate, Golf, Archery, Guitar.  It seemed like every time the wind blew we were buying new something for this or for that.

But with Major, if I put him in Spring Baseball and Fall Baseball will I finally have my baseball player?  If I put him on a dirt bike every time his brother and dad get on one, will have a Trey Canard?  And at what point can I be sure he loves it and it's not just about me.  That is why we let the other two do whatever they wanted, so it could be about them and not us.  As kids, are they qualified, or even capable of making those decisions on their own?

This I do know, having a baby at 28 and having a baby at 37 make me a different mom for all of them.  But having that additional time of being a mom makes me no more wiser on which path to lead them.  However, I also know, that all that ultimately matters is that I have raised them all to walk with God and follow His direction for their lives.

Blessings

My First Solo Ride

On March 15th I turned 42.  I have done just about everything I've ever wanted to do.  Gone just about everywhere I've ever wanted to go.  I have had a good, blessed life.  But one thing I had not done was ride a dirt bike solo.  I've been on the back of my husband's bike with him driving, and I've spent a lot of time on quads.  But on a two wheel moto machine, I had not taken the leap.

We were spending Spring Break with my husband's family, who has property in North Louisiana.  We had taken all the bikes, and for my birthday, I wanted to ride a dirt bike by myself.  My son has an 85 and my husband has a 125, so I went with my son's.  They gave me enough direction to make me kind of scared, not that I wasn't already very scared on my own.  Then, my husband sat behind me and we rode about 50 feet and he jumped off.  And I went.  Not too far, but far enough for my first time.

I can't express to you the feelings of mixed emotions I had during that ride.  It was like "wow, I'm finally doing it."  With, "Oh Yeah!  I'm doing it" and some "What in the hell am I doing?" and finally,  "Woo Hoo!  I did it!"  When I got off the bike I cried.  Relieved I didn't break a hip.  Proud I had tried something new.

So, now I share my first EVER solo ride with you.  Please notice the posture as I ride by the camera.  And the three most wonderful little boys who run to me at the end.  It's ok to laugh, I still laugh every time I watch it.

Blessings.

Whats with all the numbers?

On my Facebook page, there are some really engaged users.  Not just moms, but dad's, kids and tracks.  So when I have a question, or anyone in our community for that matter, I try to put it out there for answers and ideas.  It has really become a place where we help each other.

A few months back I asked "Who buys the bikes in your house?"  while the answers ranged, I found that a LOT of moms do it all.  The research, the find, the negotiation, the purchase, the pickup, and often drive the trailer to the track when all is said and done.  (we really are amazing creatures).

Around that same time I was shopping for a bike for one of my boys and found one that I had started communicating with the lady on.  It was a listing on Craig's List, and I asked the lady what year is this bike?  And she didn't know.  That made me wonder, do you know how to find out what year a bike is?

Now, I am not a box beater about empowering women, but I am a strong believer in being as informed as I possibly can.  And I believe with knowledge comes power. So, if you don't know what year your bike is, this is your lucky day.    The year is located in the serial number, or VIN, on the bike.  Do you know where to find the serial number?  The serial number is located on the steering column, behind where the front number plate would usually be found.  You may have to turn the wheel some to find it, but this is what one looks like (this picture is sideways for reading purposes).

The 10th digit in the VIN indicates the year of your bike.  The above picture is from my youngest son's PW50.  It is a 2001.  The most in depth analysis of the VIN number I have ever read is HERE.   It is really quite amazing what those letters and numbers represent.  Anyway, with these numbers, you are able to find out a whole mess of information on the bike you are looking at.  I always first go to the NADA website to check pricing.  I am all for paying the value of the bike, but sometimes people have no idea what their bike is valued at.  They just know that they have had some real fun times and that's gotta be worth something, right?

So, if you are just getting into this sport, those are some of the first steps I advise when considering buying a used bike from an individual and not brand new from the dealer.  Hope that helps!

Blessings!

Another Texas Boy - Blake Wharton

Another Texas boy I'm kinda diggin' these days in Blake Wharton.  Not only is he from here, but that boy is a pretty darn good bike rider.  And not only that, but he can sing.  And on top of that, he is a Christian.

Now, I will concede, with that hair, in our house we refer to him as "Party Rock" and everyone knows who we are talking about. Visually, the similarities are shocking, but I think that is where the similarities end.

I do LOVE, however, these young athletes, like Blake and Trey Canard, who are not ashamed to confess that God is their Lord and Savior.  When they make the podium and give credit to Jesus for giving them the ability to get there, my heart swells with pride, just like they were my very own kids.

So, I encourage you to follow Blake and cheer him on in the 250's.  He is a young, talented rider, who I believe has a VERY bright future as a rider, a singer or a song writer.  Check out this video of him singing.  From what I understand he wrote this song too.  Very impressive! 
Blake Wharton Acoustic